My Walking Heartbeat
The fall of 2003 brought many changes into my life. My family packed up and moved eight hours south from Naperville, IL to Franklin, TN. As a six year old, this move was life altering. I was leaving everyone I had ever known, and being a shy, reserved child this new task of finding my new “people” at the time felt all too unnerving. Luckily for me, on the corner of my new street was this extreme extrovert that basically pulled me in without a single word said. Haley had a way of doing that. Pulling you in whether you were ready or not. She just had this sixth sense where she knew wherever she was taking you, your life would be better off because of it.
Haley took me on a ride for 17 years and we never looked back. Countless memories, trips, inside jokes and shared everchanging life stages. She quickly became my heart walking outside of my body. My walking heartbeat. There was never a time I couldn’t count on her and she learned quickly to ask if I wanted a listening ear or if I wanted advice, because she sure gave the best of it whether it’s what I wanted to hear or not. She was a fixer and a doer and it is one of the things I love most about her. To help you understand just how much of a fixer and doer she truly was, let me take you back to November 2019.
We all know how much planning goes in to a wedding and to be honest, I thought I had it locked down. I was determined to have every single tiny detail done and planned out in advance so I could enjoy the time in anticipation of my wedding. After asking Haley to be my bridesmaid in the fall of 2019, the first question she asked me was “What do I need to do?” Haley took off a full week of work to head to Chicago early to help with the final touches in the wedding planning process. To her surprise, or maybe not to her surprise, I had plenty of things that did not get checked off my list and that still needed to be completed. One of the most daunting tasks that I had been putting off for months was creating the guest seating cards for 150 people that I really wanted hand-written. The day she arrived in Chicago, a week before my wedding, this was the first task I handed over to her. She gave me the typical Haley eye roll with the smirk and hand on the face, and then she sat down, grabbed a pen and the guest list and got to it. She never questioned why it wasn’t done or why I couldn’t just print them all off, she just started it. However, I will say she was a pro at the Cricut after this week and I award that to myself. So Hay, you’re welcome for asking you to spend nearly seven hours in front of the Cricut typing in 150 names as it wrote them out one by one.
Not only did Haley show up for my wedding a week early to help finish the last of the list, she also created a “Run of Show” for my rehearsal dinner and day of ceremony. But, is anyone really surprised? She would settle for nothing but the best for me. That is just the kind of person she was. I’m not the only one that can vouch for that. Talk to anyone that stepped in to Haley’s life and they would say she would have done the same for them. The only difference is, she was my heart. She knew everything about me. She knew what needed to happen for this day to be the best day of my life and she sure wasn’t going to let the wedding planner miss a single beat. She personally helped changed the room over from the ceremony to reception during cocktail hour, put up signs, made sure the seating arrangements were correct, helped organize the photographs AND had time to check in to make sure I had everything I needed in the middle of all of it. She was my second wedding planner. I’m certain that day would not have turned out the way it did without her.
Like I said before, as kids, we were inseparable. I vividly remember standing in our elementary school gym asking her not to forget me as she went off to middle school, as I still had one more year left before I would head over with her. Mind you, she still did live three doors down. That’s just how close we were. As we grew older, life changes got in the way of daily get togethers, but no matter how much time passed, every time we saw each other it was like no time had passed at all. Maybe it was because we still talked almost regularly whether it was through a text, Marco Polo, or sending hilarious Tik-Toks that reminded us of each other, or maybe it was because we held a piece of each other and coming together was our way of making our hearts whole again. Haley changed me for the better, and I would never be able to repay her for the person I am today. I struggle daily with where I go from here, because she got me this far. I owe a large part of where I’m at today, to her. The only thing I’m certain of is that this life I have will be lived for her too. Every step I take I know that I hold a piece of her, and that piece of her in me deserves everything I have to give.
As she gave me a piece of her heart to hold, I gave her a piece of mine 17 years ago and she still holds it today. I very often felt the emptiness when we were apart that I could quickly fill with a heartwarming phone call or even a quick “checking in” text. But today, I find new ways to fill that piece that she continues to hold. I look at her sweet sister and see mirror images of her ten years ago. I look at her brother and watch the tiny mannerisms that he learned from her over all these years. She may be my heart outside my body, but by her sharing the love and joy she had with her family, I see my heart in all of them too. “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.” And forever there she shall be.
All my love,
Morgan
